Dating with stds

Mc Clary believes all daters should invest the same amount of time conducting these 'self' conversations about personal dating rules as they do primping before a big date.She also says the conversation, like the primping, should happen at the same time -- before that big date. It’s something you’ve got to tell your partner, obviously. Certainly having an STD like Gonorrhea, chlamydia, or herpes doesn’t mean that you’re banned from the dating pool, but it does mean your potential partner must be open-minded. But let's state the obvious: “Advertising your STD on your dating profile isn't a good idea,” says Bennett.

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"There's really no formula that I've encountered," says 28-year-old Andrew Reymer, a single resident of Baltimore, Maryland.

"It depends on how rapidly or slowly things progress." Joan Allen, a relationship expert, finds that baby boomers are far more likely to wait to have sex than younger daters.

Having an honest conversation with yourself about sex is just as important as discussing it with your partner, experts say.

"Every woman and man should know their boundaries before they start dating, and most of us don't," says Cheryl Mc Clary, Ph D, JD, professor of women's health at University of North Carolina-Asheville.

By and large, Allen and other relationship experts endorse a cautious approach to the dating rules of sex.

"My advice is this: wait as long as you can," Allen says.

This should be a no-brainer, whether or not you have an STD.

Once you’ve been upfront with your partner about your condition and things proceed to the next level, make sure to respect them and their body by covering up.

When Mc Clary refers to boundaries, she's not talking just about the physical boundaries that come with sexual territory. "Emotional wholeness is crucial to the decision process of whether or not to have sex," Mc Clary tells Web MD.

To that end, Mc Clary often tells women, "If you value a committed relationship, ask yourself, 'What do I need to do to stay emotionally whole?

“Bring it up in a way that doesn't stigmatize yourself,” suggests Bennett.

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